So you’ve decided you just have way too many customers. Business is booming and that’s taking away from your fishing, napping, and video game time – and that is just unacceptable! There’s obviously nothing left to do but to chase some of these pesky customers away by employing some of the worst PR moves.
What are these tactics you should employ if you want to get rid of paying customers? Try some of these below if you really want to lower your workload and eliminate lots of money from your bank account each month.
Be Obnoxious on Social Media
You’ve likely built up a lot of good will on social media over the years; it’s probably why you have so many customers to begin with. After all, getting a new customer is one thing, but keeping them around? These days, that depends heavily on your social media presence.
Of course you want to get rid of these customers so you can have more time to hang out and not make money, so you have to get rid of this good will you’ve built up! One of the best things you can do is to stop being nice, helpful, and organized, and start being obnoxious.
First, start spamming as much as you can. Post ridiculous links that have nothing to do with anything or continually post nothing but ads about your company. If anyone asks a question, make sure to take extra time in answering – then don’t actually answer their question. For best results, be snippy about it!
Stay Out of Their Minds
People are busy. They’ve got work, school, kids, holidays, and a million other things running around in their heads. They’ve also got a million businesses vying for their attention. At any point another company could come out of the woodwork and tell them they should pay attention to them.
Of course your plan is to get rid of as many customers as possible so you can go on leisurely walks around the countryside. What you should be working towards, then, is to make sure customers don’t remember you in any way, shape, or form. Do your best to be invisible!
Don’t go to community events, that’s for sure. If someone invites you to help out the community or be part of a fundraiser, turn them down. Make sure you never send out press releases announcing new products or anything else exciting. Of course you should also get rid of your email newsletter – you don’t want anything popping up with your name on it on a regular basis!
Lastly, one of the most important things you can do to chase customers away is to always stay the course no matter what. If you don’t change with the times and with customers’ tastes, eventually they’ll get tired of you or see you as outdated.
Sure, some of your customers may stay around for the time being, but down the road things are bound to change. The company that changes its tactics is the company that continually brings in new customers and retains its old ones – which is what you don’t want, right?
So no matter what happens, stay on the path you’re on. At some point customers will get the idea you’re not interested in what they have to say and will abandon ship. Then you’ll have plenty of time to catch all the fish you want!
What’s something you’ve done that ended up scaring away customers?
This article is written by Mickie Kennedy, founder of eReleases (http://www.ereleases.com), the online leader in affordable press release distribution. Download your free copy of 8 Shocking Secrets Press Release Distribution Firms Don’t Want You to Know here: http://www.ereleases.com/landing3.html