How to Write Perfect Email Pitches

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Ah, the perfect email pitch. If such a thing exists, it’s extremely hard to nail down. And even a “perfect pitch” would need to be altered depending on who you’re sending it to, so it’ll never be the same.

With so much to think about, how do you even begin? Like most things, it’s best to start at the beginning. With an email pitch, that is often the subject line.


Quite a bit is riding on your subject line. Even if the rest of your email sounds like it was crafted by Shakespeare himself, no one will ever read it if the subject line scares them off. It will just be another addition to their overflowing trash folder.

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So spend some time going over potential options for the subject. A good rule for any subject is to be as short and to the point as you can. The alternative is to have a long, rambling subject that goes nowhere and says nothing. It’s another great way to scare people away from the great email you’ve crafted.

For example, “Banks Announce Loans for Local Businesses” is a catchy subject line for journalists on the small business beat. “Bank of America, BB&T, Wells Fargo and Others Would Like to Announce a Plan for Releasing Funds for Small Businesses in the Greater Metro Area” might just be a wee bit too long.

Coming up with a succinct subject line is often easier when you know exactly what you’re going to say. If it helps, switch to working on the email before you tackle the subject.

Opening Sentence

One other factor that can stall your reader’s progress to the main body of the email is your opening sentence. It has to be interesting and compelling enough so they want to read more. Otherwise, into the trash can it goes!

Since your subject line was so short and to the point, consider expounding on it in your opening sentence. This is your chance to tell the reader why the subject is so interesting and why they want to read the rest, so give it a good hook.

For instance, if the subject is “Banks Announce Loans for Local Businesses,” you can hit on the finer points of the story. “Yesterday, banks such as Bank of America and Wells Fargo announced they are allowing local businesses loans…and yours might be next!”

Anything to get peoples’ attention usually does the trick. And what gets readers’ attention is talking about how they will be affected by what’s in your email. If this journalist writers for small business owners in your area, then they will likely want to know more.

Main Body

Now for the main event – the body of the email! Now’s your time to really shine. Since you’ve gotten them fully hooked with your subject line and opening sentence, you can really show them what you’ve got with the body of the email. They want to be educated by what you’re offering, so give it to them!

Take your opening sentence and break it down. What all information do you offer to explain in it? Take our bank loan example – your readers probably want to know more about the deal the banks are offering. What kind of loan? Where is it coming from? Why is it being offered now? Are there any stipulations to the loan?

Of course, most importantly: how do I get this loan into my bank account? Now, if you’re offering a type of service to go along with this news, then you’ll want to slowly incorporate it into the email. Maybe you’re announcing this news because you offer a quick way for business owners to get the money through an online app. In that case, let them know towards the bottom of the email once you mention how banks are sending out the money.

Have you ever written the perfect email pitch? Is there such a thing?

This article is written by Mickie Kennedy, founder of eReleases (, the online leader in affordable press release distribution. Grab three ebooks, including My Facebook Formula, a free report on Facebook and why you should be using the largest social network for your business, here:

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